Now that you’ve hired a remodeling contractor or home builder, you’re close to reaching your goals with your home, but even if you’ve hired a reliable and qualified company to do the work, some stress is still involved. Living in your home during extensive remodeling projects increases that stress exponentially. Imagine having no kitchen access for weeks, or even having limited access to bathrooms.
Having work done on your home can wreak havoc on your marriage!
According to Houzz, remodeling takes a toll on couples: “12 percent admitted to considering a separation or divorce mid remodel.” Before you hire a contractor, here are some ways to keep the peace with your other half through a home remodeling or building project.
Don’t Steamroll One Another
You’re a little bit country, he’s a little bit rock and roll. If your individual tastes run the gamut, the many choices to make during a remodel or building job could cause arguments, or make you doubt your compatibility. Compromise is the cornerstone of a healthy, lasting partnership. Often, one person will make many of the decisions about aesthetics in a design, but if the other, quieter, person has an idea that they love, there needs to be some give and take. After all, both of you have to live with the design and each person should have a hint of themselves included.
One reason for Houzz’s harrowing statistic is no doubt the financial aspect of remodeling projects. Start with a fixed budget, including an emergency safety net. Also, before your contract is signed come up with an agreement with your spouse about what constitutes emergency spending. Wanting to upgrade to a toilet that sings is not an emergency, but if your contractor finds that your plumbing needs to be redone, that is something for your safety net fund to take care of.
Do not make decisions about your project and money without consulting your partner! Allow space and open communication for each person to feel heard and respected while making joint financial decisions about your home.
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder…Really!
Speaking of having space to feel heard, why not take some space, without your spouse, to nurture yourself? Get away from the stress of your home under construction and take some time for your favorite hobbies. Whether it’s a workout, a craft project, a friendship, or another pastime, you’ll rejoin your significant other feeling refreshed and ready to face the stress of your project.
Out of Sight, Out of Mind: Your House, Not Your Person!
It’s a good practice not to have discussions about your project while you’re standing in front of your demolished kitchen. No conversation carried on with destruction as a backdrop will lower your blood pressure or give you a feeling of peace.
Go out together somewhere neutral! In fact, have a date and express your desire not to talk about the project at all. Our houses are viewed as a reflection of who we are, so seeing your home partially destroyed may make you feel like a mess yourself. Remember to enjoy your spouse and spend some time together destressing and connecting—away from the construction zone!
Practice Daily Gratitude & Remember Your Why
Gratitude can become a life-changing practice if you really adopt it into your life on a daily basis. For some perspective specific to your remodeling project, try focusing on the final results that will be achieved for your home. Excitement about your finished project and anticipating how it could improve both of your lives is the “why” of the work being completed—right?
If you find you and your partner are becoming overwhelmed by the stress, practice gratitude for how amazing the end result will be. Imagine yourselves enjoying your completed home and celebrate any daily inconveniences that will finally be resolved. Celebrate your home and your partnership and enjoy the end result together.